I hate you. *So* bad. so many empty promises, man.

The secret to keeping your Japanese girlfriend working her ass off in the house is working 10 hours per week more than her and since you're in Japan, those working conditions shouldn't be too difficult to access, try it, trust me.

On another note, I miss Family Mart's prepackaged sushi.

...ye poor bastard. Yer doomed.

Turn your ass around and go the fuck home.

Don't make fun of the donkey, man

Hey, she did you a favor by co-signing for you. What are you complaining about?

"Although, a REAL Man's Man would just keep a supply of paper plates and sporks around the house."

My roommate actually does this. AND uses plastic cups.

Poor, poor Az. This is the beginning of the end for you, my friend. You don't know it yet, although you may have an inkling. Its all puppy dogs and rainbows....at first. It starts with the dishes and laundry, and then the all access sex slowly but surely starts to fade. Then one day you start to rationalize things like: "That won't happen, she's different than other girls", or "Oh this happens to every man", and inevitably "Sex once a month is doing pretty good, right?" Usually that kind of thing doesn't start to happen until you get married, though. Just keep a keen eye on the situation. I send you all of my thoughts and prayers. (I wish someone woulda told this crap to me!)

When in Rome...Or Kyoto for your sake. Look on the bright side. If you move back to the states with her and get a place the power balence will most likely be in your favor. While you relearn some of your "native living skills" she will remain in "Nihon" mode in the house at least. As long as you treat her well and respect her all should go well as she starts to think "sho ga nai". There is also the option of awesome sex. Of the girls I've been with, after the awesome sex they generally in a much better mood later and like doing little things to show thanks. Also, one might say it would be wise to expect to do some work. Better safe than sorry. Overall, it's a win/win. Good luck to you.

Az... I'll try to tell you from my viewpoint (because that's all I have is my viewpoint) what's going on.

Right now, perhaps your girlfriend feels she's been used. Used to get a decent apartment, then treated like a live-in maid you can wrestle in bed.

In the past, it was a game. Playing house, coming over and tidying up after the boyfriend and, every so often, quashing her feeling that he is inconsiderate. That he doesn't clean up himself to spare her all the work of doing his dishes because he hasn't. Now it's not a game. She has to live with it 24/7 like she's your wife, only without legal compensation.

Perhaps she wonders when the day will come that she, like someone else she might know, finds herself sitting in the park and wondering when she died. When she wonders if you ever did love her, or only spoke the words and acted affectionate, and she mistook fondness for love. (ruffle the puppy's fur)

I know people like to say "If you really loved me, you wouldn't want me to change." But that's a load of crap, you'll know when you raise kids. It comes back from the mirror, "If you really love her, you'll expand to be a better man."

i love the al bundy ref. & your absolutly right about after a meal

Come on, what's wrong with doing work around the house and pulling your own weight? A true manly man is a Spartan by day and a domestic expert by night.

Well if you think living with your girlfriend causes lack of sex and requirements for cleanliness, just wait until you put that ring on her finger.

Wedding Ring : n - A band designed to stop circulation.

I feel your pain Az, I feel your pain. I've lived with the same girl for about 5 years now.... Yeah, I'll leave it at that.

hmm read this article and decided to see what you were up too :)

http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/waiwai/news/20070430p2g00m0dm022000c.html

Happy For Ya Az'

Eh, keeping a successful relationship is difficult... But I guess it is important in the end. Finding a girl who's faithful to you is harder than finding a straight man who wouldn't suffer in a Yanni concert, and I guess the responsibility and the lack of sex is just a sacrifice you need to make to avoid getting cheated on again... expecially in Japan.

(Az's Note: Dude...I almost DID suffer in a Yanni concert.)

...Actually, my host-mother in Japan was the same for me -- she did all my laundry, even though I told her it wasn't necessary.
But common, man, it's only fair that you do have some housework if you both have jobs. In my family, my father is always the first to insist that we wash the dishes -- and while I'm with you on the laundry thing, I think it is really gross to leave dishes for more than a few hours at the most.
As for why she did it to begin with, she was probably just trying to get you to like her. Everyone's always on their best behavior before they're sure that they have acceptance.

I couldn't find the SF2 or Transformers reference. Was it in there?

I'm 30 and after 10 years of marriage I can definitely say that you are SO RIGHT. Unfortunately I can also add that it doesn't change.

For years my wife tolerated my ways of dishwasher and laundry procrastinating (using the same precise principles that you outlined! amazing how guys think alike). Now that we have kids though, it's an excuse to force me to help her do laundry every single week - if not more often - just for the sake of the children's clothes.... even though our kids have like 400 pairs of everything because she loves shopping for them.... ALL THE KIDS CLOTHES MUST BE CLEAN AT ALL TIMES!

Get ready for it Az... Black, White, or Japanese... all women are the same in this respect. Submit now and life will go easier on you later (well, not really, but at least you'll have the acceptance part down).

Man up son! Haha. You better learn to manipulate stuff and get her wanting to do things such as chores and teh sXe. Anyways. These are still funny. Maybe because you're still in Japanland.

Eventhough it has been so long, the second you said: "You will NEVER be cool on a SCOOTER." my mind shot back to that old entry about you talking about some of your old students. I cracked up as usual!
Fantastic job on keeping up where you left off.
-Loyal Reader-

Great entry, the donkey metaphor, and the bundy and star wars references were hilarious. I agree about us men's habit of leaving things until absolutely necassary. As I type this, I'm looking over about 20 empty pop cans, of course this means I have no girl... You just can't win. Good luck at the new place!!

"As far as laundry goes, as long as we have clean underwear...what laundry?"

I hate to admit it, but that is sooo true.

"Although, a REAL Man's Man would just keep a supply of paper plates and sporks around the house."

If you also throw plastic cups into the mix, that sounds exactly like me and my room mate during our first college semester after we had escaped from the dorms. Anyways, best of luck to you man. I hope everything works out for you. In the meantime I think I'll keep riding the singles track. I always hate having to answer to other people. For now, though, I better go out and mow the yard... We're having trouble finding the cat.

I used to have an arrangement where if I always did the dishes after dinner (which to me meant after the 4th-5th consecutive dinner)I would usually slip any other house obligations...

Then one day I had the brilliant idea of saving money for a dishwasher. As soon as i had the money I was a happy boy going to the store.

Now, can you spell "backfire"? I now no longer had to do the dishes. Feel free to ask me later how does it feel washing the floors, and hanging the wet clothes after the wash.

As a bit of an oddball, what ever happened to the guys who actually let their girlfriends study, do her research, and go bow-hunting/fishing without any un-needed interference... and still remain faithful and are straight?

are you guys still together?

my girlfriend had the nerve to get mad at me when i asked for a blowjob after she did the dishes..can you believe that shit??!

Sure, I do my laundry and dishes that way. That is, as late as I can put it off, preferably, later. It's a bit odd to see talk about washing dishes by hand, hanging wet clothes, and washing the floors, though. Is this not the 21st century? Kids, get a dishwasher, a dryer, and a Scooba.

Sheesh I wonder how you would have gotten a co-sign if you didn't have a girlfriend! What would you have done? Sold your body for a co-sign?! ...... T.T Nevermind I think you would do that anyway.

I clean for my girl, but she cooks
Soap & water > not having good chahan

d00d the coolest man alive rode a donkey. Thats right, Jesus is my homeboy.

I kid, he's not. But I couldn't help myself. And Azrael, like my gramps would say: 'run the other way!'. I would've co-signed for you, and you wouldn't have to do dishes and access for sex would still be unlimited! LOL

You probably should have added some Gaijin Smash and possibly double it up with Gaijin Telepathy into your persausion. Nobody in Japan would have refused to co-sign for you then!

"we work on a 'when absolutely necessary' basis"

Ehem..... I never had a gf in my entire life and yet, I have someone already against this: my mom. She's been nagging me occasionally to clean my PC (and the other PC which I almost don't use). It would've been fine if she stopped there but no, she added, "How will you live overseas if you can't do tasks like those?" I wanted to answer back, but I'm kind of a NEET for now (hope I can find a job ASAP). Since I already mentioned NEET, the "when-needed" attitude belongs to people who are candidate for NEETs (which I don't want to admit).

"I don't want to do the dishes....."

I admit I don't do laundry, but I had to do dishes EVERYDAY. Not only that, I'm the only one among the siblings who do actual housework, even if its just washing dishes or cooking rice. Even if my siblings has work/jobs, that's no excuse for not doing any housework. So I suggest you help your gf a little, since you may be doing those chores whether you have a job or not.

I have to say that I feel just a little satisfyingly revenged after reading this. I am a white girl majoring in Japanese and have really gotten discouraged listening to fellow students (most of whom are guys with serious cases of yellow fever) talk about how perfect and wonderful Japanese girls are and that American girls just can't compare. I live with my boyfriend and I've never had a problem keeping the house clean, cooking, and giving massages when he is stressed out. In fact it makes my all giddy when I see how happy my gestures make him. I don't look at it in terms of gender roles I see it more in terms of doing what makes the person you care about happy. If that means cooking and cleaning then so be it. AND I don't have the willpower to withhold sex. I don't believe it's healthy for a relationship anyway. Hopefully I won't change, but who knows, time can transform relationships and people in ways you never imagined. But I've just read too many stories about guys who are in miserable marriages and long-term relationships and I really don't want mine to turn out like that. Anyway I just had to take this opportunity to brag and vent these strong feelings of competition that I've begun to feel towards Japanese girls.

Wow, I can agree with the underwear issue. When there is no underwear, that's when I do laundry.

Men keep it simple.

If it comforts you and all (and I mean this in the kindest way possible), it's not just the guys who've lived with girlfriends who are laughing right now. It's the girlfriends, too. :D Looking forward to seeing how this goes.

Also, NT, your comment scared me *just* slightly. Please, know that those stereotypes actually freak out the Japanese girls, so er, chill the competitive feelings. Please. World peace.

"Bitter, angry tears"

SO, so, so incredibly right. Fantastic.

I hear ya on the co-signing thing. Been looking for one for ages. No one's gonna do it either...I'm stuck living in my friend's spare room. Suck.

*laughs hysterically*
You REALLY thought it would stay the same? Although I feel you on the sex. Hell, I had the live in bf, and HE didnt want to give ME the sex 24-7....sigh...witholding sex only hurts everyone, there are better ways to punish (espeically using handcuffs)and I FEEL you on the dishes. I HATE washing dishes...but I have female friends who do them. (the agreement is I cook, and they wash dishes, yatta!!!) but you GOTTA expect to have to do SOME chores...but dishes can wait til after the Al Bundy moment. A good meal must be appreciated for a bit before dishes are done.

Preach on Kimmykat!!!

if things keep going like this, you won't have to worry about your money and bills anymore...

japanese wives are known for being the financial managers in the home...

only... expect a tiny allowance from her. :(

My parents have a rule that whoever cooks dinner doesnt do the dishes that night. Plus we have a dishwasher so it's not a big deal anyways. I have a weird phobia of dirty dishes though (wtf right?)

"And I'm sure all you guys who have ever lived with a girlfriend are laughing heartily at me right now. Laughing heartily between the bitter, angry tears."

...all that's true for me except I'm a girl, and it's my boyfriend who doesn't want to have sex more than once a month. Hell, it's been two months now. ARGH.

^ *points to the above poster* I concur.

I'm dating a Japanese guy and after living together for a month last time I visited him (currently doing long distance until I graduate with my degree in June), we've decided we're pretty serious and gonna move into together this July or August.

And to your theory, you're right, no Japanese guy is gonna magically clean your place when you're living together. I'm sure it's no different from American guys, but usually after sex my guy's not all, "OMG let's clean yeah!" and more like, "bedtime now" which if he's not tired can be interchanged with "television time now". The best I've gotten is to get him to cook a "meal" once a month, handing me clothes out of the washer to hang so I don't have to keep taking my shoes off to go inside back and forth, and sometimes he does dishes when I'm really not feeling like it.

As for helping keep the apartment tidy (that whole "if you get it out to play with it, put it back when you're done" rule), hanging towels up to dry after use, etc. haha no help there. I was amazed how messy our place (LOL 1K apartment) could get in just a few days when I wasn't there to pick up after him.

Other than housework responsibility, he's pretty much the perfect guy in all other aspects. I mean gee I'd have to love him to be willing to cook him a meal everyday, when now that back in America for a bit, I don't even do as much for myself.

But don't skimp on the housework 'cause of that typical guy mindset. Women get just as tired and sometimes the last thing we wanna do is clean up some abomination you guys turned the apartment into, cook your meal, and do your laundry. I'm sure your girlfriend doesn't mind doing some or all of these things for you out of love, but we really feel appreciated if the guy is willing to do something when we ask or within the same day as asking. I mean how would you feel if you were like, "I'm hungry!" and your g/f was like, "Oh, I'll cook you a meal two days from now when I feel like it." Not very cool, huh?

She'd probably really love it if just out of the blue one day, you offered to do _____ for her. By doing so it's not making a commitment to do it everyday or anything, but just showing her that you appreciate what she does.

I also think the sex thing depends on the girl. I like sex with my boyfriend, so I'd be really sad if it went to a once a week thing. =(

Yellow fever has been getting out of hand lately - why? anime has a lot to do with it. probably not just that, but it's a huge contributing factor.

as for your situation, Az, she's 'conditioning' you. Adding on to what Jill said, if you're in this for long term, you'll have to change, but she's going to have to change too - it takes two, dude. :]

Az, Japanese steel chairs do not hurt. Sabu can throw them at little girls all day long and they'll never flinch. The Van Daminator is nothing more than a flesh wound when using Japanese steel chairs. That's why refs never DQ anybody who uses them.

But back to your story of being whipped into a good little househusband (literally?). Even though I know it didn't work, it's still funny to see how she tried to see how much housework you were really capable of doing. Too little and you're a lazy oaf. Too much and she feels useless. Good to see you got somewhat of a balance.

Oh yeah, never follow relationship advice given by a woman. It will never work and it was never given to help you in the first place.

Haha, sorry to hear that Az, but you're gonna have to man up and do some dishes. Her parents co-signed for you, the least you could do is split the household chores with her.

Welcome to the glamorous lifestyle of moving in with your girl.

It seems like a shift in power here. She's got you by the balls, after co-signing, and now you're the girl. Now its you cleaning, washing up and giving her sex on demand. You better think of something to get the upper-hand again.

You could always get a second girlfriend to come over and clean up the new apartment. *awesome*

Yeah I'm gonna hop on the "quit whining" bandwagon here. Maybe you'll find you like living in a neater environment :P

Az, you have lived in japan for 3 years, how the hell could you not know the whole "japanese women hide their claws" thing?!

Dear god, you have much to learn!

I agree with the women above! I'm a regular white girl myself, and I think I'm a DAMN good girlfriend! Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to take care of you men?! I'll be the first to raise my hand and admit that as women, we like to over-dramatize our work load sometimes, but dammit, we HATE it! The only reason we cook and clean for you is because IF you do it at all, you NEVER do it well enough. Besides, we like to feel important in our own little ways, like making you food and cleaning the house. But as for Japanese women, I don't know HOW they could possibly withold sex for so long. JESUS. It's INHUMANE! We need some lovin' too! I'm sick of all the weird otaku boys back home fawning over the "beautiful, curvy" (HA!) Japanese women they only see in porn. It's false advertising and I DON'T appreciate it! Guys- stick to your roots! Forget the yellow fever and stick to white meat!

Ha I can seriously relate, only I'm a girl and I still live in the states. When I lived alone I probably single handedly supported the plastic utensil business, and any food that couldn't be microwaved was foreign to me, also I've never been bi on doing like, ummm, any housework. Most of the times it would be my friends that would come over and clean (they told me it was fun, what the...). When I finally moved in with my boyfriend things have changed, kind of. He's a lot more cleanly then me. I swear I barly finish my last sip out of a pop can before he swipes it up and recycles it. So he does most of the housework but he does get on me to help him. I try but the only thing I don't touch is dishes, I'd rather eat on paper plates forever. I'd try to bribe him with sex in exchange for him doing all the housework for me but he already wants it less then I do, if it ends up less then once a week its time for some serious affirmative action on my part though. I guess we all have to change a lot when we move in with someone but I do love my boyfriend so I am trying to get better at it. At least he loves to cook because otherwise it would be cereal every night (with a nice plastic spork). Oh and to Saint, sorry to burst your bubble but relationships aren't a contest, and its not about one upping each other. Trust me when I say you and anyone you date will be much happier if you realize you're a team that has to work together, even if it means doing launry every now and then (uhg and I hate doing that too).

Dude, you better bring me back a hot Jap girl! That's just bull man.

I have a different issue. My wife (10 years to the day) is not a clean person. She's good in most ways, but cleaning is not one of them.

She's also a huge mess maker. Plus a pack rat. I have to do a receipt sweep every week just to clean out the junk mail and reciepts that have accumulated on every flat surface in the house.

She also can't cook. Not even close. I do the cooking because I don't want to eat fast food every day, and I don't want to eat the cardboard she'll serve.

So, I do the cooking, and dishes, and big cleaning.

On the other hand, sex has never once been held back in the slightest. Usually its me who can't get it going - after 11-12 hours of work, then making dinner, then doing dishes, I just don't have it in me to spend 20 minutes kissing her neck and doing push up's over her for 30 more.

hahahahahahahahaha
hahah cough* cough *

ahemm

gomen...

BaWahahahhhhaaa

LMAO! It's all so funny, cos it's all so true - especially the laundry and dishes deal.

It amazes me that as advanced as Japan is in most other arenas, they don't yet seem to have released Woman v2.0 . Maybe they have the technology, but have determined that releasing it would be detrimental to the overall suffering of the Japanese population, as co-habitators of Woman v2.0 have reported significant increases in happiness and general well-being. The comment box isn't large enough for me to elaborate much on v2.0, but I will tell you (and I can be considered an authority, having been released as v2.0 AND given the personality upgrade software) that 2.0 doesn't nag unless the situation is of great importance, i.e. "rent was due two days ago", not "pick up your clothes!" Alas, you have my sympathies.

Hey! Don't you go insulting scooters!
Mods rule Rockers drool!

Unless you can get a better job, I guess we're slaves again, lol

All men think alight, don't we? For my case I'm quite the spoilt brat, my mom would clean my room, tidy my bed, wash my clothes, cook and clean the dishes. Yeah, nothing beats motherly love I suppose.

But when it comes down to the wire, things have to change. No, really. Nowadays I get the urge to... cook for myself, because knowing how err... lazy I am to actually go out to buy decent, healthy food (i just order macs delivery), I make sure I go to the wet market in the morning with my mom, obviously because she knows more than I do about fresh food, I get myself some decent slabs of steak and veggies and cook myself a simple, decent, healthy meal. The downside is I probably spent a lot more than if I were to go out and eat, what an irony, AND I'd have to do the dishes too.

Here's my trick to cleaning the dishes, no man, I repeat, no NORMAL MAN would want to do the dishes after they eat, because it's indeed a real bitch when you want to kick back and enjoy some baseball/football/soccer/basketball/tennis/etc on tv. So I personally prefer to do the major dish washing BEFORE I even start, it's a habit I picked up from my mom. Sure, cleaning plates and utensils are hella easy, but cleaning that frying pan that has charred food stuck to it is the real monster (for me anyway), so I get down to cleaning whatever I used to cook first, dishes and utensils can wait for 1 or 2 hours after I've laid back enough. Btw, cleaning up the heavy-duty stuff before you eat can really add to the appetite, so it actually helps. I actually feel that my food, though a bit colder, tastes damn good (it's all in the mind they say).

I also make sure I finish all the food I cooked, aids the cleaning process, turn on tap, rinse dish, scrub with dishwashing liquid, rinse again, leave it in the dryer, done. Doesn't take long because you already cleared that damn frying pan before you started eating, makes life easier for those people who don't mind the necessity of doing the dishes.

Now, for all those abnormal men, I don't mean it in an offensive manner, but you're just too damn good for being a gentleman to the lady, so kudos to you for taking the initiative and keep up the good work, because ultimately that wedding ring means even if we don't accept it, we'd have to do it. So... make the wiser choice, lol.

Oh yeah, and regarding the teamwork comparison to the getting one-up on your partner, I'd go for the latter, because we men, *smirks*, would then be able to ask for a little(or a lot for those greedy/horny bastards) bedroom action, probably wouldn't work since all the married men have stated the facts but let me indulge in my fantasy for a little longer please(rofl), thanks.

Afterthought: Gee... it would be nice to have a gf that wants sex more than I do.
*thinks*
... Nah that's quite impossible, rofl(I am quite the horny bastard too, probably that's why I keep broke up with all my ex-gfs muahaha).

> Tmoo

You know, since women understand themselves pretty well, at least much more than men generally understand women, it's probably more reasonable to accept the advice of men rather than women. I know my b/f always digs himself into a deeper hole the more he tries to rationalize stuff out the "man way" when we get into a spiff. I can pretty much predict how he came to the conclusion of something and did something wrong, because it's such simple logic.

The problem isn't that men are wrong, it's just they never think about the bigger picture and in turn their thinking is usually a bit selfish. That's why women nag and get upset. If women thought the same way as men, I doubt anything would ever get done and relationships wouldn't last very long because you'd have double the mess and double the people who aren't willing to clean it up or take responsibility for it.

> Chris

Along with your thinking about being tired at the end of your day, perhaps that's why women start having no appetite for sex when the situation is reversed. After working and taking care of themselves, the kids (if applicable), and the guy, they're just tired and want to relax. Funny isn't it! Women get tired just like men.

Obsessive/Compulsive much?

Completely agree with Anonymous up there. Everything you said about "man logic" is true. Don't bother rationalizing. It's selfish to rationalize why you shouldn't do this or shouldn't do that. Just do it because it needs to be done. Nothing would get done if both partners acted like a man. If men would do their part in chores women would want sex more because they would see their partner as a man, not a lazy or helpless child. There's nothing sexier than being someone's maid or washing their skid-mark shorts....ooh-la-la!

"Wedding Ring : n - A band designed to stop circulation."

Ouch.... ouch! XD Priceless quote.

But how true. In both senses of stopping circulation ;).

Az, don't know where you're planning to go with your g/f, but good luck to you. You have your hands full now :D .

From what I've heard and seen.... whether you're into white meat, dark meat, sushi, red meat, what-have-you.... it all boils down to women having their own different quirks regardless of nationality or ethnicity. There's pitfalls, and then there's -pitfalls-. And it all starts with three little words: 'I love you'.

You picks yer choices and takes yer chances ;).

My predecessor was in Japan for less than a month when he found a girl to live with him and get her rich parents to co-sign for a new apartment. After three years of making the place into a state that roughly makes a pig-sty look like a mansion, he passed on that mess to me (for a fee, nonetheless). All I can say after spending months of cleaning that place is that there is no way that guy's girlfriend did ANY cleaning. Quite possibly ever. Moral of the story? Some Japanese women are still slobs.

First - good luck with your girlfriend.

Second - pull your share as willingly as she does, or you're going to have a lot longer sexless period than you think.

How many guys on here are married to a Jgirl?
Az, I agree with most of your points, Jgirls DO change when you start living together but what you don't understand is; its not about housework, its about control.
She will nag about the housework until you do most if not all of it, then she'll start nagging because you make her feel worthless.
She will ask for your bank book/ATM card because you're bad with money and put you on an allowance.
Then she will calculate your commute and tell you when you should be home and just so you don't get lost and because you don't want her to feel bad, she will ask you to add a tracking system to your keitai (ima-doko the one for watching your children) she will use this to make sure you are at work, she may also have you keitai company put a child filter on your phone to block content.
If you go out with friends she will want to know where and who, what their names are, male/female, blood type, weight, are they single/married.

It's all mind games, she wants control and nothing less.
Think back when you were about 10, everybody's got one of those friends with the obsessively strict overbearing parents.
This is what she will be like, those mean old Obasans didn't age that way, they were born that way.
The transformation starts when she gets her own domain to rule and you are her first subject.

A secret for all you guys - many single girls are like this too.

Ok, so we will do the laundry reguarly, and dishes normally get washed, but me (and most female roomates I've had) also tend to slip in to the "wash it when we want to wear it" and frozen dinner mode. Then we move in with a guy, and we feel like we have to do something so he doesn't think we're complete slobs.

I will offer 5000 dollars for kimmykat's email address...

:)

Her unique exception notwithstanding, all women immediately and irrevocably lose any and all interest in sex as soon as you do either of the following two things :

A) Ask them to move in with you.
B) Ask them to marry you.

This is a simple fact of life, Az.

oh, quit whining.

she probably cleaned the house and whatever as a gesture of thanks, but now that you live with her, part of the place is hers too. as such, she gets to enforce some rules. I mean it's one thing to only visit's a guy's place - then only he has to deal with his slobby-ness. but if I'm going to live there, then there has to be some adjusting done on both sides. she probably has some complaints about you too.

"You might wake up to find that an entire year's supply of hair spray is suddenly just GONE."

You had me laughing really hard when I read this. It is very, very sad, but very, very true. I oftentimes wonder who spends more time getting ready in Japan.

I'm with ya on the cleaning Az. I do dishes and laundry only when I need to. Lately I've been getting a little better about doing the laundry once every week or two. The dishes, not so much.

Anyway, I'm finally moving on up to an apartment with brand new washer/dryer and a dishwasher, so that should make things much better.

Personally if I were in your shoes, I'd tell the girlfriend that if she expects me to do my laundry/dishes, I don't mind, but she can do her dishes/laundry when she wants to, and I'll do mine when I want to. She may just have to choose between waiting and doing them herself.

Of course, when you actually have a dishwasher it's easiest to just rinse them off and stick them in it as soon as you're done.

By the way, I don't know that I've ever emailed you before but I've been reading for a long time, and I was so glad to learn from my brothers (who also read) that you started writing again.

>Anonymous (whoever you are)

I meant that both people would have to work TOGETHER - adaptation and change to each other. I never said that women should become just like men.

What you're suggesting is that all men are lazy, ignorant, and that we are essentially retarded, and that women are our coherent 'masters' who take care of us. This isn't true in any sense. You must live near some pretty bad ones if that's your opinion.

The Spartans weren't cool either. Unless you think that pedarists are cool?

I know what you mean 'bout those scooter punks. Down here on Okinawa they love to roll past base at 2am to bother us. My barracks is right by the highway too. Makes me want to get the biggest damn Harley I can find, roll up next to them, and send them crawling back under their rocks with some real American muscle.

Hoooo-ly crap. Okay, first off this "women taking care of guys" thing...it's nice and all, but not *necessary*. We take care of ourselves in our own style...21 boxers, jack-in-the-box, whatever. If I found a gf that was cool with this, I'd be in heaven. Split the cooking, and the much reduced chore load, we'd each be doing our fair share.

But that ain't how it works.

See, women won't tolerate living a man's way. So they get it in their head that they have to make the man live THEIR way. Dishes right after dinner, clothes cleaned 3 times weekly, floors mopped twice weekly, showers scrubbed daily, yadda yadda yadda. With so many demands, it should make the guy weigh if it's worth staying. If there's a withholding of sex on top of it, then the guy should get the fuck outta there. No sex but lots of chores? Might as well move back in with my folks.

I remember I did something akin to that when I was traveling in Greece, laundry-wise. But then things didn't dry quickly, and I had to wash them all in the friggin' sink, and I started rewearing things (except socks. Always wear new socks. This is a priority above underwear). In short, it sucked.

So now I'm in charge of my laundry a second time, although I go home once a week (I'm working at a camp) where there's a washing machine. I just organized all my stuff in my living space, and do my laundry on my day off.

What's the point of this? Basically, it helps just to do a bit each day. If you like time after a meal, do the dishes at the end of the day, or something. I find it easier to do a bit each day instead of putting in long hauls occasionally.

Then again, I'm female, albeit a pretty androgynous one. Maybe I'm programmed this way. <,<

Love the Puff the Magic Dragon mention. Never thought I would read that in reference to a Japanese apartment.

I don't have any advice for you...sorry, man. If she starts showing her obasan fangs to you in anger...RUN, drop your *** and run!

I may be the only female that I know of who could probably tolerate that kind of living. In my marriage, the roles are reversed (excepting the sex part.. but that's a whole different animal that I won't go into on a public forum). I'm usually the one creating clutter, and I won't usually deal with it until it reaches critical mass (i.e., the sink is so full, adding another dish might actually cause it to implode from the sheer amount of mass). My husband, on the other hand, is the neat-freak.

God has a sick sense of humor.

Heh Az is growing up. *sheds a tear before forming an evil grin* Suffer my pain biatch. ;-)
Nah I do feel for you, my ex nagged me a lot about doing things which didn't need doing immediately, like turning the freaking spare room into a craft space, or blowing up at me for not vaccuming occasionally or doing the dishes or the laundry because she did _all_ the work. *sighs* Ya know over half the time I did the vaccuming, I did the laundry, I did the dishes, and cooked the meals 90% of the time. Az girlfriends are the same everywhere, occasionally you'll meet one that is a bit different but don't place bets on it, and pray to god you don't ever get one who is a slob around the house, it's more pain than it's worth had one and even I was crying with dispair, I'm untidy not filthy.

Why do you make me laugh so hard?

I know why. Because you're a fantastic Gaijin full of equal amounts of spite and love for life.

...Okay. A little more spite than love, but what can you do?

Wow. Azrael called me a REAL Man's man. I am honoured.
(I'm assuming that the description extends to cover owning NO cooking pots or utensils as well and in fact never setting foot in the kitchen for the entire year.)